I Had a Dream
I Waited Too Long. I’m Not Waiting Anymore.
“Life is risky. Getting married is risky. Having children is risky. Starting a business is risky. Investing is risky. I’ll tell you how risky life is: you’re not going to get out alive.”
— Jim Rohn
I’ve been wanting to write this for a while. Mostly because I don’t say it enough, and because you, the people reading, sharing, and sticking with me, deserve to hear it plainly.
Thank you. I mean that. Every time you read what I write, you’re helping me finally do something I should have committed to a lifetime ago.
What a lot of people don’t know is that this wasn’t a new idea. I started down this road years ago. The pull was there. I wanted to build something of my own, something that actually meant something. Then I backed away. Not because I lost interest, but because I got scared and let “practical concerns” take the wheel.
At the time, I couldn’t see how it was supposed to work. I had bills. I had responsibilities. I wasn’t in a position to just drift. So I made what felt like the smart decision and set it aside. I told myself I’d come back once things were clearer, once I felt “secure.”
Looking back, I didn’t avoid a struggle. I just traded one kind for another.
I avoided the uncertainty of a new path and carried that decision with me for twenty years. That feeling doesn’t disappear just because you ignore it. It stays with you. It shows up when you see someone else doing what you know you should be doing. It shows up when you realize you’ve built a life that is comfortable, but too small for you.
I even told my wife I was done with politics. No more debates. No more rabbit holes. She was happy. She thought I was letting go of something that took up too much space. But I didn’t need to quit. Maybe I just needed a little encouragement. Someone other than me to believe. The fact that my eyes light up when I talk about liberals or the future of this country wasn’t a distraction. It was a signal. Most people already know what their signal is. They just spend years explaining it away.
Instead, I spent years trying to be comfortable.
If you’d asked me twenty years ago where I’d be, I would have described “easy street.” Coasting. No worries. That version of life sounds great on paper. It just didn’t sit right with me.
Underneath that comfort was a constant reminder that I had reversed the process. Instead of struggling early to build something meaningful, I chose the easy path upfront and carried the debt of that decision for years. Eventually, the interest on that debt became too high to ignore. That is what happens when you keep putting off the thing you know you should be building. The cost does not disappear. It just shows up later. The comfort wasn’t enough to cover what I was leaving on the table.
I used to be careful, especially about race. Not silent, but careful. I saw where things were heading long before “cancel culture” had a name. You say the right thing the wrong way, and the conversation is over. Labels get thrown, facts get ignored, and nothing you said matters anymore.
So I would do the research. I’d look at the numbers. I’d see things that didn’t line up with the narrative. And I would hesitate. Not because I doubted it, but because I knew what came with saying it out loud.
That wears on you over time.
One of the strange benefits of getting older is that you stop trying to thread the needle perfectly. You realize that if you know who you are, the noise loses its power. I’m not perfect, and I’m not polished, but I know where I stand. That’s enough.
Jim Rohn said it best: “If you think trying is risky, wait until you get the bill for not trying.”
I finally got that bill. It showed up as years. It showed up as regret. It showed up as realizing I played it safe and still didn’t get what I actually wanted. He also said if you’re not willing to risk the unusual, you’ll have to settle for the ordinary.
I’m done settling for ordinary.
I’m committed now. Writing. Thinking. Breaking things down the way most people won’t and calling out what doesn’t hold up. Building something that reflects what I actually believe instead of what feels safe to say.
And the only reason I can do that is because you are paying attention.
So thank you. Not in some shallow way, but in a real way. You’re the reason I finally stopped putting this off.
I also have a couple of strong pieces in the works. One should drop this weekend, and the other early next week. So this isn’t just me looking back. This is me moving forward.
If you’re reading this and you already know what your thing is, stop making the trade I made. Stop choosing short-term comfort over the thing that keeps pulling at you. That trade looks smart for a while. Then one day you realize you did not avoid the cost. You just delayed it.
I had a dream a long time ago. The only difference now is I’m not walking away from it.
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Right now, your support helps me do more of the work I should have committed to years ago.
It helps me spend more time writing and researching. It helps me finish and release the pieces already in progress. It helps me keep building something honest, independent, and worth reading.
I also have two strong pieces in the works, one dropping this weekend and another early next week. This is not me slowing down. This is me finally leaning into what I should have been doing all along.
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I knew better, and I waited anyway.
That’s really what this piece is about.
If you know somebody stuck in that same trap, send this to them.