I was honestly expecting the essay you were going to write, Chris. I was almost hoping for it, just so I could be "right" about the apparent fraud that this man had committed.
My faith teaches me forgiveness, and it would have been rather un-Christian of me to root for you to kick this man while he was already down. As you say, honesty is not cruel, it's just the truth. We can, however, still utilize the sharp knife of truth to cut in a cruel fashion and I must say that I'm glad that you wrote this essay and not the one you had planned.
Thanks for sharing your own personal story, Chris. The more I thought about this, the more I came around to your point. Not because Arday or Cambridge were above criticism—they weren’t. But from the way you describe the article you almost wrote, it sounds like you were going to go beyond calling out what he did and start passing judgment on who he was. I’m glad your better judgment kicked in. You’re a better writer than that, brother.
Thank you, brother. I think that’s exactly right. I was starting to judge the man, not just what he may have done. His death made me realize the difference.
Great essay Chris! I actually wonder if he is really dead. Given how strange his entire story was, I wonder if he figured it how to fake his death. I hope so. I lived through the suicide of a young friend who was 24 and I never stop wondering where she would be now. Everyone deserves another chance.
I’m sorry about your friend, April. That’s the part that sticks. Always wondering about all the life they never got to live. Everyone deserves another chance.
It sounds to me like you survived the medical industrial complex. And Arday sounds like he was obsessed with 15 minutes of fame like an increasing number of people of late.
Thank you. I’m pretty damn glad I came back from it too. Looking back now, I had no idea how much life was still ahead of me. With all the ups and downs I have had lately, it's a constant reminder not to throw in the towel on life.
Your story about your depression having you thinking of killing yourself brings back my sorrow of losing my daughter to drug use. She was involved in the drugs for close to thirty years. A long haul in that profession. I always knew that her death was near certain if she did not walk away from that life. When she died it was almost a given it was going to end like that. Oddly enough they all know it is coming. I have always thought that was in fact the biggest attraction to the “drug life”. What I was not prepared for was the reality that her death was the end. Nothing happens after that. No redemption. No forgiveness. Nothing. That is a terrible thing to live with.
I’m very sorry about your daughter, Charles. And sorry I made you think of that again. That’s exactly the tragedy of it. Death closes the door on every chance to change, make amends, or become something more. Thank you for sharing that.
Thank you for your writing. My experience with my daughter was tragic. However, if people have someone caught up in that life, there is in fact hope, while they are still
alive anyway. I work with several people daily that walked away from that life. Good people. I know a great many more that have been dead for years. I myself stoped drinking close to forty years ago and surly would be dead or miserable had I not. Turns out there is a correlation with drinking and being arrested. Who would have guessed?
Some of us can relate, whether we care to admit it or not.
Absolutely. Probably more of us than we realize.
I was honestly expecting the essay you were going to write, Chris. I was almost hoping for it, just so I could be "right" about the apparent fraud that this man had committed.
My faith teaches me forgiveness, and it would have been rather un-Christian of me to root for you to kick this man while he was already down. As you say, honesty is not cruel, it's just the truth. We can, however, still utilize the sharp knife of truth to cut in a cruel fashion and I must say that I'm glad that you wrote this essay and not the one you had planned.
Absolutely, Mike! There’s a difference between telling the truth and enjoying how deeply you can cut someone with it.
Thanks for sharing your own personal story, Chris. The more I thought about this, the more I came around to your point. Not because Arday or Cambridge were above criticism—they weren’t. But from the way you describe the article you almost wrote, it sounds like you were going to go beyond calling out what he did and start passing judgment on who he was. I’m glad your better judgment kicked in. You’re a better writer than that, brother.
Thank you, brother. I think that’s exactly right. I was starting to judge the man, not just what he may have done. His death made me realize the difference.
This^^^
Exactly. Thank you, JD.
Great essay Chris! I actually wonder if he is really dead. Given how strange his entire story was, I wonder if he figured it how to fake his death. I hope so. I lived through the suicide of a young friend who was 24 and I never stop wondering where she would be now. Everyone deserves another chance.
I’m sorry about your friend, April. That’s the part that sticks. Always wondering about all the life they never got to live. Everyone deserves another chance.
It sounds to me like you survived the medical industrial complex. And Arday sounds like he was obsessed with 15 minutes of fame like an increasing number of people of late.
Glad you came back from the dark side.
Thank you. I’m pretty damn glad I came back from it too. Looking back now, I had no idea how much life was still ahead of me. With all the ups and downs I have had lately, it's a constant reminder not to throw in the towel on life.
Your story about your depression having you thinking of killing yourself brings back my sorrow of losing my daughter to drug use. She was involved in the drugs for close to thirty years. A long haul in that profession. I always knew that her death was near certain if she did not walk away from that life. When she died it was almost a given it was going to end like that. Oddly enough they all know it is coming. I have always thought that was in fact the biggest attraction to the “drug life”. What I was not prepared for was the reality that her death was the end. Nothing happens after that. No redemption. No forgiveness. Nothing. That is a terrible thing to live with.
I’m very sorry about your daughter, Charles. And sorry I made you think of that again. That’s exactly the tragedy of it. Death closes the door on every chance to change, make amends, or become something more. Thank you for sharing that.
Thank you for your writing. My experience with my daughter was tragic. However, if people have someone caught up in that life, there is in fact hope, while they are still
alive anyway. I work with several people daily that walked away from that life. Good people. I know a great many more that have been dead for years. I myself stoped drinking close to forty years ago and surly would be dead or miserable had I not. Turns out there is a correlation with drinking and being arrested. Who would have guessed?
This is one of the most moving and powerful essays I've ever read. Thank you for it, every word.
Thank you, Betsy. That means a lot.